How well you get on with others comes down to two things…listening and rapport. Whenever you have a problem with someone it is generally because you have a lack of rapport. Highly successful people know how to build rapport using the art of listening.
Do you really hear what people are saying?
Most people are so busy thinking about what they are going to say next or waiting for an opportunity to speak, that they fail to hear or acknowledge what the other person is saying. Sound familiar?
The other person then doesn’t feel valued or heard. You don’t have to agree with what’s being said, you simply have to listen and acknowledge. Here are a couple of tips:
- Avoid using the word ‘but’ because it negates everything that came before it. Particularly if you use it to reflect back what someone just said and then go but…(you have just lost rapport).
- Avoid the words “I understand” because it opens yourself up to the argument of ‘you don’t understand, how can you possibly understand?’
- Instead use the words ‘I appreciate and…’followed by your opinion about the subject. This acknowledges that you have heard what they have said, value it and can respectfully then bring up your own viewpoint.
Try it out these simple tactics and discover the difference in how people respond to you.
Listening requires you to silence the noises in your head, actively listen and focus on the person speaking. You will discover so much more about a person, their business and what their needs are.
Ask yourself, am I really hearing how they feel and how it affects them? Only when you truly understand the other person’s viewpoint, have heard and acknowledged it can you jointly find ways to meet their needs and yours, in a collaborative unified way.
You can use this technique for sales, in business and or your personal relationships. Highly successful people know how to use listening to closely meet the needs of others. Being able to solve a problem, fill a need or desire is the simplest way to build a business and create successful relationships. Success Habit #3 – Listen.